Saving a Dying Heart
by PrincessEOForever
Summary: He was broken now, more than ever and she knew for a fact that if she didn't try to soothe the pain in his heart that she was truly going to lose her best friend again, and this time, forever. She suddenly felt like her own life was on the line. As if her soul would go with him if she were to lose him. Sorry I'm not that good at summaries. Second story. EO
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So I decided to post this which I had started right after I posted Unpredictability. It has been on my mind since and I finally decided to post it. Let me know what you think about it. Takes place around the beginning of season 14 definitely EO**

 **Disclaimer: I obviously do not own them**

 **Ring**. Not again, please let it be a dream.

 **Ring**. 2:28.A.M. Groaning, Olivia moved from her comfortable position on her bed and reached over to the nightstand. _Where the hell is my phone?_ She asked herself as she began randomly swatting her table while still lying on the bed. _Aha! Found it!_ She thought to herself as her fingers found the edge of her phone and she eagerly grabbed it. Before she could bring the phone to her ear to answer the call it rang once more. Frustration in Olivia rising immensely, she answered the phone before looking at the incoming number and assuming it was once again her job, and also before another irritating ring could escape the phone. "Benson," she tiredly mumbled.

"Hello, this is Andrew from The Bar Downtown, and would you happen to be an Olivia." Rumbling was heard in the background along with glass shattering, "No, not Olivia, it's Liv," a very slurred voice said faintly with a hint of frustration. That voice. That vague voice triggered something in her memory. No, there's no way, but still, there was suspicion. "Yes, this is she."

"Yeah, ok whatever pal, no, don't touch that!" he shouted and not two seconds later, there was more shattering. "I have been trying to close up the bar for half an hour now and this last guy, says his name is, umm, Elliot," Olivia freezes hearing the name of the person whom she's had no contact with or even said his name for over a year. "-Or at least that's what I think he said. He can't seem to do anything but throw bottles," the man continues, "This guy's so messed up that he can't even hold his own weight so I asked who I could call for him and he gave me this number." More glass shattering was heard before more shouting.

"Okay, um, I guess I'll be there in a couple of minutes," Olivia said as she hung up. Getting ready, Olivia's mind wandered and before she knew it she was out the door. _Could this really be Elliot? What the hell am I supposed to say to him? Why was he alone at a bar and why didn't he call Kathy?_

Getting into her car she knew in her heart that it was Elliot without a doubt, but she wasn't sure how she felt about seeing him again. Looking back at their partnership, she would have never guessed that he would have left her, but in reality he never had an obligation to her. So in the same sense she had no right to be upset. No, she wasn't mad, just disappointed. Disappointed in Elliot for leaving her. Disappointed in herself when she believed Elliot when he said he had her back. And disappointed when she realized how empty her life was and how much harder cases had been without him. She couldn't even work with the new detectives, let alone get along with them. They didn't understand how she felt and what she was going through. No one did. Because no one could even understand them, nor their relationship, including themselves.

She knew not everything ended on good terms.

And now she will remember never to expect that it will.

And to prove it, she now has tear-stained cheeks that she is completely too deep in her inner-most thoughts to even acknowledge.

Sometimes when Amaro or even Rollins asked her a question, all she would say was, "I trusted my partner," or," My old partner came pretty close." But she knew there was no point, they would never understand, nobody would ever understand because, as she once said to him before, it was too complicated. The truth was she was, at this point, too tired to even care, numb from feeling anything, at least then she wouldn't hurt like before. She was tired of walking into the squadroom, walking over where Jenna's shooting had occurred and reliving the whole ordeal in her head that led to the end of a long term friendship. Or partnership. Or even relationship to some extent.

Turning on the block of the bar, she prepared herself to face him and once more rubbed her face and ridded it of her tears. Parking her car right in front of the bar, she sighed and hesitantly took off her seatbelt. She walked into the bar and found Elliot leaning heavily on the bar table as the bartender cleaned up the sharp pieces of glass. Elliot raised his head as he heard footsteps. His eyes were red as if he'd been crying a lot. She took another step closer and for the first time she realized those well-hidden freshly shed tears. For the first time in over a year, Olivia didn't have to question how to feel seeing him again. She felt…concerned…he didn't look at all the way he did all those years they were partners. "Liv," he managed to slur out before he lowered his head once again. "El."

"The guy's completely buzzed," the bartender said.

"How many glasses did he have," Olivia asked him.

"Let's just say several."

Before deciding to take on the task of literally carrying Elliot into to the car, she decided to try to at least payback some of the money he had probably blown off and took out her wallet.

Just as she were about to open it, the man quickly shook his head in disagreement. "Just getting him out of here will be enough," the man said with a hint of a smile, "But I'd keep my eyes on him, I heard him mumbling something about a little girl being too young to die," the man whispered to her. Olivia's small smile at the man's generosity faded into a sigh. _Jenna_

Approaching Elliot, she knew that she wanted answers, but right now he needed to sleep off the many shots he had, so she reached her arms to him and gestured for him to get up. Obeying her, he put his feet on the floor and attempted to walk, but he failed miserably, stumbling all over the place. He would have fallen on the floor if it wasn't for Olivia's reflexes. Wrapping one arm around him, she carefully balanced them and made her way to the door. She could feel his eyes locked on her and all of a sudden she felt his arm hand over her shoulders when he almost tripped over his foot.

When they finally got to her car, she opened the passenger door, managed to sit Elliot in the seat, and buckled his seatbelt. When she went to shut his door, she noticed he had been staring at her the entire time and he hadn't said a word to her since she got there. Getting into her own seat, she buckled herself in and turned on the car with her hand on the ignition. Suddenly, Elliot looked to her and put his hand on top of hers. "I'm sorry, Liv," he said solemnly. She looked into his eyes and found the same blue eyes that they had been months earlier. She shook her head. She wasn't going to cry right now, she couldn't. And instead he pulled back his hand and he was the one to hold back tears. This time she was the one to reach out as she put her hand on top of his that he had set inches away from hers

"Since you didn't call Kathy, I'm guessing you're not speaking, are you?" Olivia began. She was answered through a nod of his head and he looked away. For a couple of minutes they rode in an uncomfortable silence until Olivia finally spoke up. "Elliot do you know what the absolute worst feeling is in the world?" Elliot didn't answer, but instead just stared at her. Olivia removed her hand from atop Elliot's and put both on the wheel.

"To want to hate the person you care about most in the world. But also knowing at the same time that it's impossible. On top of that, having no one around you understand you." And with that statement, only a tear escaped her eye.

"You know, I could have just left you there to do something stupid, but I didn't, I couldn't, Elliot. I couldn't find myself to just leave you, even after you left me."

"Liv, I…," Elliot started, but was stopped by Olivia.

"Please, don't. Listen, Elliot, I don't think we should talk about this right now. Let's at least wait until tomorrow when you're sober, and actually have the capability to remember the conversation and what you say." Olivia wasn't trying to be cold, she wasn't even sure what she was doing anymore. Was she seriously opening her home up to her ex- partner who she hasn't seen in months?

From Hendricks to Huang, from Cragen to the various ADA's, to even their own co-workers and IAB. They only response any one of them could come up with was that they were too close. 'Too close was right,' Olivia thought as she swiped her face, finally making note of the silent tears rolling down her face,' Never will that happen again.'

She looked back at Elliot. He didn't look much different or better than she was feeling, which was something that they still shared in common. He was staring intently out the window and he looked like he hadn't slept in multiple days. He was strangely quiet, considering he used to always argue with her, even when she got real annoyed. Suddenly, Olivia felt a wave of sorrow go over her, as if she was the one that had left him. For the past months she'd been wanting to see him and here she was shouting at him. Wait a second…What was she thinking?! He left her, How could you leave someone that you've known a quarter of your life without a goodbye! Then again, just because she valued their friendship, did that mean he did?

Olivia sighed how could she know what she was doing when she did not even know what she was feeling. Finally, she got to her street, parked, and took off her seatbelt. Knowing that Elliot was nowhere in the correct condition to do anything right, she went to his side. When she opened the car door, she found that Elliot was already beginning to pass out with all the alcohol he had consumed. She unbuckled his seatbelt, and helped him up the stairs to her apartment.

She led him to her spare room, realizing for the first time that Elliot had not once made eye contact with her as he stared at the floor. "Okay, well we'll talk about things in the morning, so we should probably get some sleep. And you should call Kathy and attempt to fix things." And with that she left him and went to her room to get a couple of hours of sleep, even though she knew her mind would not stop rushing to Elliot. He sure looked like he'd been through a lot over the past year, but then again so had she.

Olivia rests in her bed staring up at the ceiling thinking about how her conversation with Elliot would turn out in the morning. She looked over at her clock. It read 3:13 in the morning. Olivia sighed. Cragen would expect her bright and early since they were still trying to find a breakthrough in their current case. Olivia sighed. She had less than four hours to get as much sleep as possible and then it was back to work. And then there was Elliot. She still couldn't even bring herself to believe the fact that he had returned to her life for who knows how long after what had happened. But in reality she had no idea what even happened. All she remembered is attempting deeply to console and comfort her partner after he had fatally shot and Jenna Fox. No matter what she said to him she knew that things would never be the same. He had shot and led to the eventual death of a teenage girl who was no older than his youngest daughter and there was nothing he could do to take it back. He ended up spending the night at the precinct because he didn't feel like talking at all, especially to Kathy. And Olivia, knowing that she was not going to leave her partner like that, spent the night in the bed right beside his, constantly reaching for him, not wanting him to feel like he was alone. When he had finally fallen asleep that night, Olivia watched as he struggled and turned in his sleep. It was only a couple of seconds later that she was at the edge of his bed, awaking him and holding him as he silently sobbed on her shoulder. Neither could let go and eventually they laid down on the cot and fell asleep in their embrace, not even willing to swipe at the tear streams down both of their faces. And then the next morning he went home, or at least he claimed he would, and she never saw him again. He was gone. She shouldn't have let him go, but now he's gone. Was gone.

Gone. That was Olivia's last thought as she fell asleep. The next time Olivia awoke was at 5:43, or at least that's the time she could make out. She was so tired that she couldn't even see. Olivia was woken up by an unfamiliar noise. She stood still as she tried to hear it again. Once she heard the noise again, she shot out of her bed, immediately recognizing it from about a year ago. It frightened her and reminded her of that dreadful night. She ran into her guest room to find exactly what she had suspected: Elliot tossing and turning in the bed. Olivia quickly turned on the light switch, quietly walked over to him and gently shook him. At that very moment, Liv was back to the day it had first happened, she had ignored the fact that he left her.

"Elliot, it's okay, you're okay," Olivia whispered rubbing her hand soothingly down Elliot's arm. Elliot let out a very faint sniffle and opened his eyes suddenly. "You're okay," Olivia said trying to calm him down, after she noticed the tears on their way down his cheeks. Liv let herself sit at the edge of the bed and grabbed his hand, lacing her hand with his. And that's when the tears started to fall. Olivia, desperately trying to comfort him, pulled him into her arms, which he willingly and gratefully accepted. She held on tighter when he started to shake in sobs. "It wasn't your fault, El, it wasn't," Olivia repeated softly into his ear, "There was nothing you could have done."

"I'm sorry… I'm so… so sorry, Liv," Elliot managed to get out between sobs, "I didn't mean to… to… kill her." Elliot had almost been physically unable to get the last part out. Even Olivia at this point was losing the battle of trying to keep her tears at bay.

"Shh, no, El, it's okay, it was not your fault, you did the only thing you could have done," Olivia said to him honestly. 

Elliot shook his head. "I shouldn't have taken the shot… I just shouldn't have, and now… now a teenage girl suffered the consequences for my stupid mistake," Elliot quietly told her, growing agitated with himself.

"Elliot, you did the only thing you could have done, please stop blaming yourself for that, I don't blame you, no one blames you." To be honest, Olivia had known that it had affected as much as it actually had, only now it was starting to worry her.

"Liv, I-," Elliot managed to say before he darted off to the bathroom, with Liv quickly following him, catching on immediately. He opened the door and barely succeeded at collapsing on his knees and leaning on his arms trying to steady himself before he expelled all the wine he had drunk the night before. Liv at first reaction, stood by the door unsure of herself and what to do, but as Elliot's shaking progressed violently, she could not keep herself from making some sort of effort to help him. She knew what it felt like to be hungover and even the smallest ones were just not good. So Olivia moved from her place at the door to the sink and quickly returned by Elliot's side as she placed a cool rag on his forehead. Elliot genuinely accepted the small relief and that's how they stood for several minutes until Elliot's stomach finally calmed. Elliot flushed and leaned against her white-tiled wall as Olivia returned the rag to the sink and dampened it.

Handing it off to him, Olivia saw that his eyes were already closing as his body longed rest. "You okay, El?"

Olivia sensed there was something off about him, even more off than a person who had a few too many. Elliot wearily nodded his head and opened his eyes. Olivia grabbed the rag from him, went down on her knees, and held it on his forehead. "Come on, El," Liv said as she reached her hands to his and helped him up. They walked all the way back to the guest room silently, Liv mentally freezing when she realized that Elliot had not let go of her hand.

"I'll be right back," Olivia said as she left the room and made her way to the kitchen. Opening the fridge she thought to herself how different he seemed…. It was as if he was … she couldn't quite find the word…maybe… _compliant_ of her help…

She closed the door to the fridge with one hand, holding a cool water bottle in her other. She opened her medicine cabinet, hearing it creek, to find that she had rarely anything in there. Olivia picked up a bottle of painkillers. "This will have to do," she said to herself as she creaked the cabinet closed. Walking out of her kitchen and into the guest room, only to find that Elliot had once again passed out. She set the painkillers and water bottle on the nightstand and soundlessly walked passed the bed to the door, shutting off the lights, and closing the door behind her. When she got into her room, she glanced at her alarm clock. 6:04 a.m.

"Shit," she muttered under her breath. She had barely an hour before she had to start getting ready for work. She sighed and threw herself back on the bed, not wanting to lose another second of her already shorter than usual, sleep.

 **AN** ~ **Sooo what do you think? I pretty much have the next chapter written out so please leave a review and tell me whether I should continue. Thank you for reading and I will hopefully have the next chapter for Unpredictability, which has been a bit challenging for me, out by the end of the week.**


	2. Chapter 2: To Tell the story

**AN- I am truly sorry about my neglect to updating my stories, it's been a rough couple of months both personally and school wise, but after this first semester, I promise it will be regular updates. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I apologize for minor grammar errors, but I needed to post something.**

The next time Olivia awoke, she was greeted by the patch of sun beaming threw her curtains and directly into her eye. She jumped up from the bed as she realized her alarm had not gone off and it was already 7:36. She had less than ten minutes to get ready and head out the door.

In eight minutes, she was now about to head out the door when she remembered… Elliot. Momentarily, she hesitated, debating whether to check on him, or to leave him to rest. She then decided that he probably would be asleep for a couple of more hours and rushed out the door.

Liv arrived at the precinct in Detective mode as sat down at her desk, across from her partner…. umm new partner… partially new partner? Across the room Fin and Amanda were having a conversation as they waited for their coffee.

"Thought you'd never show up," Nick jokingly said as he got up and handed Liv her coffee. She accepted it gratefully.

"Thanks, I really need it on a day like this," Liv responded as she took her first sip of the refreshing splendor.

"I know what you mean, we've been working on the Perrison case for nearly a week and we've gotten undeniably nowhere," Nick replied understandingly, as he was just as much growing restless with the current dormant case.

"Yea well that and the fact that I got absolutely no sleep last night," Olivia stated honestly.

"Less than usual? How come?" He asked genuinely concerned for his partner.

"Well, remember I -" Was all she could get out as a reply as Cragen had walked out of his office prepared to start day 5 of the same case.

"Okay so where are we on this case today."

"Same as before—nowhere"

"Ok, so we have a dead victim found in alley ten blocks from her apartment, beaten, raped, and left to die. No one she was seeing… no one in her personal life that she had recently pissed off. You sure there's nothing on her financials?

"Nope, nothing worse than a late payment to her recent maxed out credit card and even two donations to charity functions."

"Come on people, think," Cragen stopped and rubbed his forehead as he contemplated their next move.

"Well we could check out the charity function payments, make sure their not faulty," Olivia suggested.

"Good idea, Benson, Amaro, check out the charity center." The captain ordered. Nick and Olivia stood up as Nick checked once again the address of the center. "Meanwhile, Fin, Rollins, hit the Board of Education Center see what they say about their Pre-School teacher—whether she was involved in any social activities, since we've already established she has no family here. Munch… start exploring the idea of this being a random attack." Nick and Olivia headed out the door first as the Captain went back in his office.

Once in their squad car, Olivia got into the passenger seat, taking out her phone in the process. Scrolling down in her contacts, she found what she was looking for. She had decided to text him to check up on him; _Woke up late, had to rush out to work. Help yourself to anything you need. Be sure to call me if you need anything. Feel better…Liv_

She rested her phone on her lap as Nick began to pull out of the parking lot. "So what were you gonna say back in there?" Nick asked. Olivia hesitated.

"Never mind, let's just focus on the case," Olivia told him.

"Trust works both ways, Olivia, not just one, and it obviously wasn't something minor. Come on, tell me," Nick said wanting to know.

Olivia rolled her eyes, she was not in the mood to deal with this conversation again. He needed to understand that she wasn't one who found it easy to just talk about her personal life. Especially the part of her personal life that was her past. Besides, she now realized that it wasn't necessary for Nick to know about such a thing. After shooting Nick a look that he had become all too familiar with, the one he knew as the highly inconvincible 'I do trust you' look, she told him, "I know, and it's not a matter of trust right now."

Nick already knew her way of thinking and decided to push further. "Sure it is, come on, tell me."

Olivia sighed. He was right. Deciding to just give in to his stubbornness, and thinking that it wouldn't hurt to just tell him. "Fine." Olivia just now, became interested in exactly how much Nick knew about her old partner. She sighed again. "Well, remember I used to tell you about my old partner?"

"Stabler?"

"Yea… well I never did tell you how he left did I?" Olivia asked. Nick shook his head. All that he knew was that it had apparently not ended on good terms; that was all the information he could talk Fin into revealing about his new partner. It was all Cragen had given him in response to his new partner's seemingly desolate behavior.

Olivia looked to her right side and gazed out the window. On the sidewalk closest to them was a girl with dark brown hair and eyes to match, walking with her mother across the street. As Olivia began to play the events leading to her partner's disappearance, she perceived the young girl to share a common resemblance to Jenna. Quickly averting her eyes, she began the story. "It was…umm … one of the worst cases I can remember," Olivia started, knowing that this would be a hard conversation to have since she had not once told it. "One day a week before her day in court, Annette Fox, and her daughter Jenna, were walking back to their car when a, what seemed to be at the time, mugger comes, attempts to take her purse, but instead, ironically, shoots her in the head, killing her instantly."

"In front of the daughter?!" Nick asked, astonished. Olivia nodded. "Wow, must have really affected her." Liv nodded. _If only I could have seen exactly how much. Maybe Elliot would still be here… as my partner. Or just still in my life._

"If I had realized that it affected her way more in a way no one guessed, no one was prepared to handle, I would have prevented one off the biggest and most fatal shootings in the Manhattan SVU history." Olivia shook her head as her eyes moved from their glazed position somewhere through the windshield, and fell down to her lap. Nick looked to her and sympathetically placed his hand over hers. Instead of protesting her statement as he normally would which would only make matters worse right now, he decided listening was a better option. Right now she just needed to be heard. Olivia used her other hand to fix her hair, sighed, and continued.

"So, anyway as the investigation progressed, Elliot and I had realized that it was a planned murder to stop her from testifying. Later that day, we made three arrests, all culpable for Annette's death." Nick shook his head in disbelief.

"When Jenna came in for closure, I showed her the three, and at first sight she seemed okay, so I escorted her back out. I headed back toward my partner who was in the middle of a conversation with Sister Peg, when, not a minute later, Jenna runs into the precinct with a gun and starts shooting almost randomly, ultimately she had shot and later killed two of the three and sister Peg. So I sat on the floor trying to save her, as my partner struggled to talk down Jenna, and almost succeeds, when one of the three injured murderers shouts how he should have killed her along with her mother. She once again raises her gun and Elliot, having been the only other with a gun, was forced to shoot her fatally, and she …umm… bled out in his arms…" Olivia removed both of her hands from their places and bringing them up to rub her eyes in desperate attempt to stop the wetness in them.

"That night… out of maybe two others was one of the only times where my partner of almost fifteen years had allowed me to actually see him cry… he had actually opened up to me and placed his trust in me." Olivia pursed her lips and felt her throat start to stiffen as she fought against the tears that she now realized were inevitable. "He had stayed the night in the precinct too traumatized to go home and do more talking. Instead, he attempted to get some semblance of sleep in a cot. Not wanting to have him or myself to suffer in isolation, I stayed as well, right there with him, the whole night, didn't even leave when he attempted to convince me he needed to be alone because I knew he was lying. After I firmly stood my ground, unmoving, he nearly threw himself on the floor beside me and cried as I caught his head just before it hit the floor… cried so much I was sure he was dehydrated. That is how we remained throughout the entire night, just sobbing, not having enough strength to pick ourselves off the floor. That night… was the last night I had ever seen him. He left just like that. And after that I began to wonder which was the biggest casualty that night- the life of a young girl or the soul of my soon to be ex-partner, because not only had I lost my partner…and my best friend… but I had lost a part of myself." Olivia finished, her voice nearly breaking as a single tear barely found its way out of the corner of her eye when she quickly swatted it away and then returning her hand to rest on top of the cup holder. Nick, feeling that she was done, returned his hand to rest on top of her wrist.

"Wow… I can't imagine how I would react if I had shoot a girl Zara's age, Olivia, that's hard…now I kinda understand why I got the vibe that you hated me, for the first few weeks sometimes, even now," he said with a sliver hint of a smile, trying to lighten the mood, as he made a sharp right turn. Olivia looked directly at him now.

"I don't hate you, Nick, you're my partner." Olivia said as her instinctive side went right to defending him, but as soon as she said the sentence, she immediately realized her slip up.

"Exactly, I am, in the present, but back then I was someone who you saw as a replacement to someone who was completely irreplaceable to you. I not only figuratively, but literally, sat in the desk that you had just finished cleaning out." Nick looked over at Olivia who was staring once again at the windshield. "At that moment, the only partner you wanted to work with was him." Nick looked to his right to find Liv silent, knowing that he was utterly correct.

"So," Nick said, changing the subject, knowing this wasn't the time to claim his victory, "What does this have to do with you next getting sleep last night?"

"I got no sleep last night because… Elliot… made his first appearance in almost two years."

"He walked up to your apartment after not talking to you for two years!?"

"Not exactly..."Olivia began.

Seven minutes later, Liv had finished telling Nick the rest of her night. "Well, I see why you were looking forward to your caffeine." Nick joked, in attempt to get her laughing.

"Yup," She nodded, with a barely noticeable smile.

"Just be careful, Olivia."

"You really think he would?"

"Just promise me you'll be careful."

"Nick, I know for a fact that no matter how bad he is right now he would never hurt me," Olivia said with all the confidence she had. He would never. That much she was sure of.

"Not what I'm talking about, Liv, I'm talking about how he hurt you before." Nick was concerned for his partner, after all she was finally telling him about probably the hardest thing that she could ever talk of.

Once again, Liv stood silent. _Would he really do it again?_ "I don't know, there was something about him… that was different."

"Well he did _shoot_ and _kill_ a teenage girl." Olivia cringed at the words her partner used, which Nick didn't miss. "Sorry," Nick said quietly.

Liv shook her head. "I know what he _accidentally_ did, but it's not just that, it was something else… honestly I don't know."

The car then came to a complete stop as Nick finally pulled into the lot directly across the charity center with the words "Catholic Charities" written in big blue letters on the tarp. Benson and Amaro opened their car doors and crossed the street, both getting their badges out. When they approached the front desk, Ms. Contreras, the receptionist, lifted her head up, while simultaneously flipping her dirty blond hair out of her face. She appeared to be in her early twenties and adjusted her hair to one side as she began to speak. "Can I help you two."

The two partners lifted their badges, subconsciously as Nick introduced them. "I'm Detective Amaro and this is my partner, Detective Benson." Due to the previous night that she had endured, Olivia's mind instantly went back to when both herself and El had done the same and basically had each other's information etched in their minds. Ironically, now she felt as though they knew nothing about each other at all, especially if Elliot thought that she had labeled him as Jenna's murderer. There was no way that she would ever think of him that way. As a matter of fact she didn't blame Elliot at all for the death of Jenna, she blamed him for not asking for her help and leaving her just like nothing. Like she didn't mean anything to him. She hoped she was wrong about them being complete strangers to each other and listened to Nick as he continued. "We're here to ask you questions about a donation to this place made by a Leah Perrison."

"Sure, let me just look her record up," Ms. Contreras said as she turned back to her computer and typed in a few words on the keyboard. Suddenly, Ms. Contreras's friendly expression changed to one of confusion. "Hmm… we don't have her listed as a member." Just then an older man walked in from another room, oblivious to the presence of the detectives.

"Lindy, do you know where…" pausing as he turned his head to them, immediately noticing their credentials and occupied holsters. "Detectives, may I ask what has brought you to this charity center?"

"We're here to gather something on Leah Perrison's donation and who are you?" Olivia asked.

"Anthony Contreras," he responded smiling and putting his hand out for the detectives to shake, "I've owned the center for nearly twenty four years." Nick let a small smile show as well as he shook his hand first as he introduced himself. Olivia did the same.

"Now, do you happen to know Ms. Perrison?" Olivia asked him.

"Personally, no and professionally, I'm not sure, if I did it should be in the record." He responded, looking over to Linda.

"Dad, there aren't any files under her name." Linda responded.

"Hmm… let me go check and see if I have it in my office," he said as he went back into the room he originally came out of.

"Dad?" Amaro asked Linda curiously with his signature smirk. _'Good,'_ Liv thought, _'We're on the same page.'_ With no leads on this case, they needed to look every which way for any possibility of any answers to the questions the squad had. Now that everyone in the unit seemed to have become very edgy and grown irritated with not a single lead.

"Yea, my mom and dad started this charity when I was only four, and eventually, when I was old enough they convince me to work here." She turned back to her computer and began typing something else.

"You said your mother and father started the center, well your father's here, where's your mother?" Olivia proceeded to ask.

"Well after she had my sister, she became a housewife and four children after that she continues staying home and raising us." Lindy turned to the door to which her father had entered. "Dad, did you find the files?"

"Found them." Olivia peered through the door to find Mr. Contreras walking toward them.

"Detectives, would you mind if I asked why you need the files for Ms. Perrison's donation?"

"She was found raped and left to die in an alley way near her apartment about four days ago." Olivia stated as she and Nick looked for any kind of reaction from either Mr. Contreras or his daughter.

His initial facial reaction was one of grief like someone normally react at such a devastating sentence whereas his daughter had her hand over her mouth with the same grief- stricken expression. "Oh… wow," he spoke sighing, "I guess it really is true, terrible things do happen to good people… She was a very generous person."

"So you did know her?" Amaro pressed lightly.

"No, I wish I could say that I did, anyone who donates to charity functions is considered a good person in my book." Mr. Contreras said as he handed the files to Nick. "Do you have any idea who did this to her?"

"Not yet, that's why we're looking into everything we can find," Olivia answered as she fixed a small curl out of her face.

"Well, let me know if you need anything else, and I'll be happy to help," he said, walking back to his office.

"We will, thank you," Amaro said as they faced the other way and walked out of the center together in stride.

"Think we found should look further into this?" Nick asked her.

"Well, why would he only have her files in his office, his office barely has two cabinets, and the last time she donated was about four months ago… there was just no reason for him to have her files in his office. He spoke in the past when we asked him about knowing her… as if he knew she was dead already. Let's go back and see what the others found and what we can make from the file." Olivia knew that there was something off about that family and Nick nodded, feeling the same way.

When they got back into the car, Olivia immediately removed her phone from her pocket and checked it. Her phone read: 1 Text Message from Elliot received five minutes ago; The first one in over a year and a half, and the one proof of Elliot's presence that Olivia had so much looked forward to. The last thing she had texted him was that she would always be there if he needed to talk. She carefully slid her finger across her phone screen and unlocked his message: _Just woke up…getting ready and I will head to the precinct… Need to talk to you… you deserve an explanation at the very least, Liv … El_

Sighing, Olivia rubbed her hands up and down her face and put her phone away. The ride was at least another half an hour and Nick had just started to drive.

"Something wrong?" Nick asked her, hearing her exasperated sigh.

Liv scoffed at his question. Something wrong. Right now, everything was wrong and there was no denying it. It was wrong that Luke Ronson raped Annette Fox. It was wrong that Agent Grier gave Eddie Skinner a gun. It was wrong that Eddie shot and killed Annette in front of her daughter. It was wrong that she had underestimated how unstable Jenna Fox was when she brought her in to the precinct. It was wrong that Jenna had shot and killed Sister Peg. It was wrong that her partner was put in the terrible situation in which there was no right answer. It was wrong that their long and loyal partnership had to end on such bad terms with no closure whatsoever. It was wrong that Elliot had been blamed countless times for simply doing his job. It was wrong that Elliot, somewhere in the entire mess Elliot was the one blamed for the death of the young girl Jenna Fox. It was wrong that Elliot had left her without a word. It was wrong the no one else stood up for their partnership, but her. And most of all, it was wrong how throughout their nearly fifteen year partnership they had saved and helped so many people and taken up the huge responsibilities and consequences of their job after living through their own abusive childhoods, only to be put through hell and back time after time as if as a reward. Even though they were the last people who deserved it to be that way. _'Everything,'_ she feels like saying, but instead replies, "He's heading to the precinct."

"Why?" Nick asks.

"He said he needed to talk to me… that he owed me that much," Olivia answers debating her next move, "He shouldn't go there." _He's not ready, I know it._

"You don't think he'll be able to handle it?"

"No," she spoke confidently.

"Did you tell him that you don't think it's a good idea?"

"Trust me Nick, it won't make a difference, if he's the same person he will stubbornly argue, there's just no way he'll listen." Olivia said and wore an almost bittersweet smile, remembering quite how stubborn they both were.

"Just like you would've," Nick said with a smile as well.

The rest of the ride was in complete silence and twenty minutes later, they arrived at the precinct. Liv once again checked her phone, only to realize that she had no new text messages. Hoping that he hadn't gotten there yet, she rushed into the familiar building.

 **AN- I SWEAR I will update within the next two weeks and regularly after that. As for Unpredictability…I am working to do it before Christmas. Thanks for reading and please review :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- Here is the update, just on time, as promised. :) This chapter is very short, but only because the next is very long and I didn't want to separate the next events.**

As she had hoped, he hadn't arrived there yet. Sitting down at her desk, she placed the documents that they had just gotten, onto her desk and began to read them, greatly attempting to focus solely on the case they were in the middle of and not on the fact that Elliot was on his way there. Finding it highly impossible that she would actually be able to comprehend the file, she got up and walked over to where Amaro, Munch, and Fin were discussing the case as Rollins was getting her second cup of coffee that morning. "I think that we should look further into finding another way that Leah was connected to Anthony… there was just something about him."

"And if there is no link between them, then what are we going to do, it would be even more time wasted," Munch argued.

"Well it's the only lead we got right now," Liv said joining the conversation.

"Okay, so remind me why you guys think he's hiding something," Amanda said, handing Nick his cup of coffee and taking a sip of her own as well.

"A couple of things… the fact that he spoke in the past when referring to her…her folder was in his small office and not in the computer." Liv explained and looked back for a reason she couldn't quite explain until she saw what she didn't even know she was looking for.

He was standing in his suit, probably an emergency one left at her house years back, by her desk as he stared to a spot in the opposite side of the squad room, quite a distance away from the detectives. She knew exactly what he was looking at and thinking about and she knew that he wasn't ready for this. The conversation had continued and Liv had gone unnoticed by everyone. "Be right back," she mumbled to Nick. Nick was about to look back, but decided against it, not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention to his partner, so he nodded and continued the conversation. He had a pretty good estimate of who his partner had been caught off guard by. She slowly and quietly walked over to him and saw him swallow, trying to keep his tranquility. Still unnoticed, and standing about three feet away from him, she reached her hand out and placed it softly on his shoulder, walking the rest of the distance. He sighs, assuring her that she hasn't startled him, but his eyes don't leave the place on the floor that his eyes have been glued on since he walked in.

She sighs as well, knowing everything about him once again for the time being. "It wasn't your fault. Jenna didn't die because of you, El, she died because of Grier, Skinner, and Ronson," Liv tells him quietly, aware of her coworkers as she walks right in front of him, and placing her hands on his shoulders. She sees the tears that he's so desperately tried to keep in him, pooled in his eyes. His eyes that no longer are left to look at the floor, but are now fixed in her caring brown eyes. He stays quiet as she begins to speak.

"You didn't have to come here, El." Liv gently moved one hand to his cheek, "I know it's hard for you, you don't have to put yourself through this." Cragen watched from his position at his office door, stunned. He was just about to check on the investigation when he stopped at the sight of the former detective. His former best detective. The one he had thought of as his own son until he left the unit without a word, leaving his partner, who was as close as a daughter as he could ever have, lost. He witnessed himself, what she went through, especially when he had ordered her to pack up his things. He knew it was a terrible thing to do to her but it was the only way to get it through to her that he wasn't coming back. Now, the pain in her eyes will be forever engraved in his mind particularly because he knew that it was the grief she carried from their dying partnership and because he had threatened her job if she disregarded his commands.

And now, he watched as his detective, the best one he had now, put aside her own feelings and comforted the one who had left her. Backing into his office, he decided to let her come to him, just as he knew she would.

Elliot swallowed again and then spoke for the first time "Liv… I owe you an explanation at the very least… I … I need to tell you why I did what I did." Olivia removed her hands and ran one through her hair.

Suddenly, as Olivia was about to speak, the group of detectives, seeming to have finished their conversation, got up and immediately noticed them from across the room. Munch and Fin, expecting to find Olivia in the Captain's office, were wide eyed at the sight of their long lost coworker. Olivia sighed. Now was definitely not a good time for reunions and introductions. Especially not a good time for Elliot.

Nick assumed that it was Elliot, and held a stern look in his eyes. Amanda, stood behind Nick confused, especially ad to the look on his face. Munch. Wanting to break the silence, was the first to speak, "Well if it isn't the long lost Stabler," he said walking over to him and Liv, "It's nice to see you again, Elliot."

Olivia watched as Elliot struggled to put on a smile at the small reunion as Munch gave him a friendly hug and the rest of the squad walked over. "Munch," Elliot replied, "How you been?"

"Oh, well Elliot actually I …" Munch began.

"He's the same old bony ass conspiracy theorist he was before," Fin interrupted before Munch could finish and gave Elliot a hand to shake. He knew that he would have a private talk with Elliot later about what he did to Liv, but for now, he was mature enough to not fully embarrass the former detective. Hopefully.

Amanda walked up to him next, the first unfamiliar face he would meet and stuck out her hand as well. "Amanda Rollins," she introduced herself as he shook her hand. "I assume you're Elliot Stabler as in Olivia's former partner. It's an honor to meet the other famous detective behind all the brilliantly solved cases."

"And I'm Nick Amaro, Olivia's partner," Nick said as he approached him. Elliot could sense the barely audible almost slightly irritated tone behind his voice. "Elliot Stabler," he smiled as he introduced himself as they too shook hands.

"Oh, I've heard about you. You were Stabler as in Liv's partner for fifteen years. Must have been hard to say goodbye to the job," Nick said in a slightly hinting tone, acting oblivious. Everyone's eyes arose to meet Nick's in astonishment. Silence followed immediately after the words left the detective's mouth. Nick only looked towards Olivia to find a glare that told him that it wasn't the right time to start that. She then looked toward Elliot who looked to the floor once again and who's already fake smile was nearly vanished as if it was never there. Looking back at her coworkers. Olivia spoke up. "Guys… umm… give… give me a couple of minutes. If the Captain asks why tell him… tell him that something came up."

Nick nodded, leaned against his desk, and showed the rest of the squad the documents they had gotten from the charity center. Without looking at Elliot she told him to follow her to the cribs so that he could tell her whatever it was that couldn't wait.

Fin, now puzzled about the whole situation, too sat in the chair closest to Nick. Once the former duo was out of sight, Fin quietly asked Nick suspicious of the detective's earlier statement, "How you know about how Stabler left?" It was obvious to Fin that Nick's statement was no coincidence, reflecting on Elliot's departure from the unit.

"She told me earlier," Nick answered just as quietly. "Explained a lot of things." Fin nodded and when Amanda asked exactly what he meant, he told her that it was a long story that would be discussed at a later time since they had their first lead on a four day old case. The subject of the matter faded as they continued once again with the investigation.

Olivia closed the door behind them as they entered the room. "What do you want from me, Elliot," she quietly, but firmly asked him.

 **AN-Thanks again for reading and please review, whether it is for any ideas, or simply feedback, they really help me decide where I want the story to go next. Also, the next chapter, will be out in about a week, and is a very intense scene, after this brief chapter. Thanks again :)**


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